It’s been a….steady week. I guess that’s a good way to put it. Not too busy, but not a lot of down time, other than new years day. On the plus side though, everyone is so busy posting and talking about resolutions and getting in shape and blah blah blah that there hasn’t been as much to trigger my thoughts. There was an incident earlier in the week, but it wasn’t TOO bad.
My wife went to a friends house to spend time with her and her kids, and something funny happened. The details aren’t important, but when she was trying to tell it, she couldn’t stop laughing. When I think about a family, I admittedly rarely think about smelly diapers and runny noses, but more so about times that would make us laugh like she was. That’s what I want. Fortunately, I love to see my wife happy, so her telling the story wasn’t as bad as when others do it since she was so happy telling it. It WAS a bit hard to smile through it though.
I always feel bad in situations like that. I have to hide my feelings so as not to come across as the wounded bird emotionally, but moments like that are tricky to just brush off, but I have to. Otherwise, people end up feeling uncomfortable talking about stuff like that around me, and that’s not what I want, especially from her. It does get hard though, since I seem to think about it all the time, whether it’s right up front, or somewhere in the back of my mind.
The big helper, believe it or not, has been that it recently snowed a lot. I love the snow. You’d think I’d end up daydreaming about playing with my kids and building snowmen and such (which I do), but snow always reminds me of being a kid myself. Running around in it, snowball fights, building forts, drawing big eyes on cars, basically just playing with this huge toy that fell out of the sky, it always takes me to a time when the kinds of problems I have now didn’t even exist for me. So maybe I can take that as a lesson.
Do what you USED to like. People always say things like “find a hobby”, but maybe the trick to working through problems is to go back to old hobbies. They take us back, and in turn, take us away. You should never run from your problems, but getting away from them for a while can definitely clear your head, and for the problems that may be permanent, you’ll need a clear head as often as safely possible. Good luck everyone, and remember, keep fighting forward.